A collection of some of the witty, wise and wacky things heard in meetings.

If A.A. is a cult it’s the worst cult ever. We won’t take your money and we insist you heal your relationship with your family.

By allergy I mean the need to drink once I drink. When I drink booze I break out in more booze.

My 4-1/2 year-old daughter has 2 months more sobriety than me.

What’s on your mind all the time is your higher power.

The difference between a functioning alcoholic and non-functioning alcoholic is you blow your brains out with a nicer gun.

My body can’t process alcohol, and my mind can’t process reality.

A.A. is the only place where people applaud when you come in to save your own life.