A collection of some of the witty, wise, and wacky things heard in meetings.

When my ass is on fire, I don’t care who got the hose.

I learned early on to lower my morals and my standards to meet my behaviors.

I realized that you might be an alcoholic if you have a list of reasons why you’re not an alcoholic.

My mom’s so proud of me I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s God doing it, not me.

Grace is the moment when we see everything for what it is.

Alcoholism is the only disease where if you take the treatment, you come out better than where you were before you got it.

I was told to change my attitude or I’d need to change my sobriety date.