A collection of some of the witty, wise and wacky things heard in meetings.

I didn’t come to AA to get sober, I came to AA cause I thought there’d be donuts.

What we ask you to do seems kind of crazy. Come to a meeting today when you were just at a meeting yesterday. Seems kind of drastic. 

You guys are the only square friends I’ve got. (Newcomer with 28 days)

Humility is making friends with the facts.

I didn’t know how to have conscious contact with God. In the morning I asked him to keep me sober and in the evening I said thank you. In between, I told God jokes.

If you’re not growing, you’re going.

I’m not an alcoholic because I drink too much, I’m an alcoholic because I can’t drink enough once I start.

I finally understand what my sponsor would tell me all the time. You’re special. You’re just not extra special.